I'm Just Going to Hangout on My Soapbox for a Sec.

I would just like to start this off by saying that I really enjoy being a lady... and I enjoy a good gentleman as well. I do appreciate when a man opens the door for me, or pays for dinner, not because I'm not capable of doing things on my own, but because it makes me feel special. And I think these days women don't get to feel special enough of the time. 

I would also like to mention that I grew up believing in certain gender roles. I personally choose to adhere to the ideas that I was taught as a child, when I someday have a family of my own (since these ideas are mainly related to roles within the family). However, I also recognize that there is a real problem with the ideas about women in this day in age. 

Up until quite recently, I always tried to fully embrace ideas about femininity. I was the little girl that wore pink dresses, played with Barbies, and wanted to be a princess. I loved the Spice Girls and believed in "girl power." When I was in grade school, I decided that I wanted to be the first female president... either that or an actress (at this point in my life I see that this is a little ironic, since these are two ways women with power are viewed). As I got older, I became more disillusioned with my future prospects and I just didn't want to try as hard. It seemed that the boys were the ones generally succeeding and leading, and I didn't see the point in trying to fight it. Sometimes if I felt that I had a chance of leading a group, I would put all my efforts and best ideas forward and I got a sense of fulfillment from being a leader. Unfortunately, often teachers (mostly those that didn't know me very well) would give credit to the male member of the group, if there was one. This got me especially upset once in one of my college courses... not that I'm bitter about it or anything. 

I never wanted to be labeled as a "feminist." That was a dirty word to my ears. I thought of feminists as radical, man-hating, and aggressive. I am none of those things, so I obviously don't fit with that group. I like a man who will open my door and take me out. I like dressing up in fancy clothes and putting on make-up (sometimes). I also definitely want to have a family, and I want to be a mother and a housewife. That definitely makes me not a feminist. 

... or does it? I still don't like being labeled as a feminist, and I'm sure that some other ladies would not label me that (as I'm currently hearing whispers as I'm sharing in my gender roles class), but I do see some real issues with gender in our culture, specifically issues surrounding inequality and femininity. So, if that makes me a feminist, so be it. I want this world to be better for my children and my family. I want my daughter to feel that she is able to do whatever she wants and be whatever she wants.

This is a clip from a documentary entitled "Miss Representation." It is a documentary about female roles in society, and what can be done to equalize our society. Just the clip is hugely thought-provoking:

(don't worry... this clip is not as explicit as it looks) 

My question while watching this documentary was, "Is this really how we value women in our culture?" Personally, I'm not okay being viewed as an object of male gaze because I know there is more to being a woman than just being attractive.

(yes... this is a VERY over-sexualized caricature of me done at my high school prom. Not cool. Also, creepy.) 

If you can't be what you can't see, how is anything going to change? I'm making it my new goal to be a better example to all the little ladies around me. It's okay to be smart... in fact, it's better than okay, it's wonderful for a woman to be smart, to be a leader, and to share her opinions. It's also wonderful for a woman to be kind, sensitive, and thoughtful. Women have different experiences and perspective, and that makes what we have to offer, valuable.   

I hope that someday ideas about women will change, and little ladies will be able to see that they can go anywhere and do anything. The world will be open to them and they will be lauded for their talents and their ideas, not for their bodies or their sexual appeal. 

Forever loved.