"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself..." -Franklin D. Roosevelt
I thank FDR for saying this. It's been kind of my mantra for the last little while. For the past few months, I have decided to grow up a little and try to overcome some of my fears, or just do things that I have never done before (the unknown scares the willies out of me). I used to just come up with excuses for not doing the things that I didn't want to do.
For example, this semester in school, I decided to take a theater class. I LOVE it now, but I was very unsure of myself at the very beginning of the class. I was terrified of being in front of people, and having them judge me, and making a fool of myself. I thought the class would be fun when I signed up for it, but I had sincerely hoped that I could just kind of fly under the radar, and learn to be a better presenter, but not really anything more. That was my whole motive for about the first two weeks of class. Then we were assigned to "do something". We could do anything we wanted to, just as long as it was appropriate, and able to be shown. I was going to sit in front of the class and knit for a minute and a half, or whatever. It was about the safest thing I could think of, and no one could really take me for a fool doing that. But then I was enjoying some time with my assigned scene partner, and we were talking about what we were going to do. I mentioned that I was good at remembering songs. Lyrics just stick for me. Anyway, I happened to mention that I knew the lyrics to a lame 90s rap song, "Ice Ice Baby". From there, my decision was basically made for me. He talked me into presenting that for the class. I went home and practiced it, and a few days later, this is what my class got...
Anyway, after it was over, everyone was laughing, and I was congratulated, and it went perfectly. A few days later, I presented my talent again for a larger party (90s Dance Party.. Watch it here). Again it was received with a positive reaction. After that I became far more comfortable with myself, and more confident as well. My theater class was about 1000 times more fun because I was able to let myself go, and just enjoy.
A little while after the giant leap I had made out of my comfort zone, I decided that conquering fears was a great thing, and I should be doing it way more often. One thing that I have always been a bit uncomfortable about is getting shots. I can't remember being the kid who freaked out and screamed before/while getting the shot, but I was always nervous about it, and I would always squeeze my mom's hand so tightly I feared I would break it in half (and this was when I was 6). I got my ears pierced when I was about 9, and that was even terrifying (and yes, dearest sister, I do remember death-gripping your hand, too). Naturally, when I heard we were having a blood-drive at a nearby church building, I decided to take the risk. I had tried to give blood once before in high school, but my iron levels were too low, and, besides, the tiny finger prick was almost too much for me to take. This time I expected to have low levels of SOMETHING, and not be able to give. I was kind of hoping for that scenario, actually. Of course, that was not the way it worked, and when the guy came back to the table with my results, and told me to head over to the chairs, I think I about spazzed out right there. I got all set up, and the nurses were joking with me about my nerves, and one of my lovely friends stayed to make sure I was all right, but I was still internally freaking out. Then it happened. The nurse inserted the needle, and at that point I had no choice. I was in this to the end. It hurt very briefly, but then it was really just fine. I talked with the people around me, and I felt fine. Everything went off without a hitch. I filled the bag, and was released. I hadn't even lost any color in my face, and I felt 100%, which was lucky, because I had to walk home (I did relax a little after giving... just to make sure). That night I went out, as normal, and it was great. I kicked that fear's butt, and felt awesome, and empowered after.
See... not too shabby? :)
The most recent fear I'm working on is change. I am not comfortable with change, or the "unknown". I like structure, and I like knowing what I'm going to get out of a situation. That is why, on Friday, I'm cutting my hair off. The picture above was taken in February, and it's April now, and I haven't cut it. I'll show you before/after pictures later. But I've always wanted to donate my hair to Locks of Love, though, I've never been able to grow it out long enough. Now, I have enough for 10 inches, but it will be short (chin-length maybe). I've never had my hair that short since I was a baby, and I'm nervous. But I know I'll be helping someone, and I will get a new experience in the process.
So... basically, I've found that the key to overcoming fears is to have a good attitude going into it, and to really take note of what you've gotten out of it. If you can do this, I promise that you will find that, even though you may have to sacrifice, it will always be worth it. You will always learn something new, and learning is growing.
Forever loved.
You inspired me. Good post!
ReplyDeleteThank you! That is the goal I had in mind. :)
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